I love this. I have been reflecting on 'experiments' recently. I used to write a humorous column for many years and it enabled me (a hyper vigilant introvert who would rather be at my laptop than anywhere else) to do loads of things I wouldn't have wanted ordinarily to do because the stakes were so much lower and in fact, I welcomed everything and anything - goes well? Fine. Goes spectacularly cringeably badly? Well that is observational column comedy gold! That sense of self-observation, plus having a sense of humour and self compassion for our human exploits, is such a nicer way to go through life. Trying to be right all the time and trying for everything to go well is just impossible and really hard on ourselves.
Loving your Substack, and loving your journey. A sane voice in the publishing and writing world can feel like a lonely path but it's so very much needed. x
Love this comment, thank you for taking the time to write. I really agree; it’s all material in the end - the author’s gift! Terrible = good material. What’s your column, can I find it online?
And thank you for your kind words, it’s good to know my wafflings are finding a home :)
Oh god well, they're scattered in fragmented bits around the internet but the columns were for various print publications - such as Big Issue North - that have now gone by the wayside! I have been in the writing game TOO LONG. I've saved them all and I did say I'd collect them all one day but that day has not yet come.
Thank you. What you have written here applies mainly to women, if not damned-near exclusively. I don't intend to man-bash, but as women, we have been conditioned that our needs are a weakness. The more we talk about it, the better we shall all be. Thank you for your candor!
I’m loving this perspective Katy, I feel like failure is often tied up with shame. Where the judgement of others overrides our needs and our soul needs until down at the bottom of the well, we find a small piece of gold that says you do it your way. You look round and there is a different way out. You don’t care who’s looking because your light is so bright you will can only see the path ahead. 🙏💫
I loved hearing about your journey. The only thing you say that I take exception to is: be late. Be deliberately late. I am often the one who is left waiting on a friend who crams 3 days worth of visits and obligations into half a day. I end up feeling short changed. For every lateness, someone, somewhere is inconvenienced. Something has to be shuffled around because you could not or would not do as you said you would. You're late, and it is supposed to be OK that others are now cooling their heels when they were expecting you, or something else has had to be diverted. It just isn't OK with me. Yes, I always wait for my friend, but I can no longer pretend that I like it, or find it acceptable. If she wasn't so sterling in other ways, I'd dump her. What I'm saying is, have some consideration for those who you are leaving in the lurch.
I love reading this and relate to it so much. I also left really good jobs and closed a successful business to be a stay at home Mum for a bit. I retrained and now work in a totally different field and am a single Mother and am here just manifesting and creating money on my terms every day. It is terrifying and so liberating and joyful. You will fly xxxx
I love this. I have been reflecting on 'experiments' recently. I used to write a humorous column for many years and it enabled me (a hyper vigilant introvert who would rather be at my laptop than anywhere else) to do loads of things I wouldn't have wanted ordinarily to do because the stakes were so much lower and in fact, I welcomed everything and anything - goes well? Fine. Goes spectacularly cringeably badly? Well that is observational column comedy gold! That sense of self-observation, plus having a sense of humour and self compassion for our human exploits, is such a nicer way to go through life. Trying to be right all the time and trying for everything to go well is just impossible and really hard on ourselves.
Loving your Substack, and loving your journey. A sane voice in the publishing and writing world can feel like a lonely path but it's so very much needed. x
Love this comment, thank you for taking the time to write. I really agree; it’s all material in the end - the author’s gift! Terrible = good material. What’s your column, can I find it online?
And thank you for your kind words, it’s good to know my wafflings are finding a home :)
Your words are absolutely needed!
Oh god well, they're scattered in fragmented bits around the internet but the columns were for various print publications - such as Big Issue North - that have now gone by the wayside! I have been in the writing game TOO LONG. I've saved them all and I did say I'd collect them all one day but that day has not yet come.
Thank you. What you have written here applies mainly to women, if not damned-near exclusively. I don't intend to man-bash, but as women, we have been conditioned that our needs are a weakness. The more we talk about it, the better we shall all be. Thank you for your candor!
I’m loving this perspective Katy, I feel like failure is often tied up with shame. Where the judgement of others overrides our needs and our soul needs until down at the bottom of the well, we find a small piece of gold that says you do it your way. You look round and there is a different way out. You don’t care who’s looking because your light is so bright you will can only see the path ahead. 🙏💫
I loved hearing about your journey. The only thing you say that I take exception to is: be late. Be deliberately late. I am often the one who is left waiting on a friend who crams 3 days worth of visits and obligations into half a day. I end up feeling short changed. For every lateness, someone, somewhere is inconvenienced. Something has to be shuffled around because you could not or would not do as you said you would. You're late, and it is supposed to be OK that others are now cooling their heels when they were expecting you, or something else has had to be diverted. It just isn't OK with me. Yes, I always wait for my friend, but I can no longer pretend that I like it, or find it acceptable. If she wasn't so sterling in other ways, I'd dump her. What I'm saying is, have some consideration for those who you are leaving in the lurch.
Brilliant! Thank you xx
I love reading this and relate to it so much. I also left really good jobs and closed a successful business to be a stay at home Mum for a bit. I retrained and now work in a totally different field and am a single Mother and am here just manifesting and creating money on my terms every day. It is terrifying and so liberating and joyful. You will fly xxxx